29 Apr Creating a Great Relationship: How to Identify the Results You want to Create

Trudy Jacobsen | Relationship Counselling

Romantic relationships tend to be a bit scattershot—going with the flow.

Yet, creating a successful relationship requires more deliberate action than most people assume. Rather than to simply rely on love or passion to lead the way, couples who set relationship goals often find the most long-term success.

To begin, it’s vital to know the results you want to create in the relationship. Then, develop a game plan to actually get you to that point.

But this approach can seem a bit too “big picture” for most couples to grasp. For this reason, here’s a breakdown of how to create a good relationship by identifying the results you want.

Develop a Vision for Your Relationship

It’s important to examine your current relationship so that you can pinpoint areas that need change. Also, this will allow you the space to spot the positives in the relationship as well.

Start off by asking yourself what you want your relationship to look like. Furthermore, dig deep and find out what you want to feel or experience in the relationship. This could mean different things to different people. For example, some partners need adventure while others need security.

It’s during this pondering that you’ll figure out what you need more of or want less of in the relationship to get what you actually want out of it. Knowing yourself well will help you develop a vision for your relationship.

Use Your Values to Guide You

As with any serious part of life, your values will guide you even when you don’t realize it. But it’s even more helpful to know these values and let them guide you as you set relationship goals.

Grab a pen and paper (or a smartphone!) and make a list of your values. Keep in mind that a value is something that is truly important to you.

Of course, you could just jot down something like “I don’t ever want to be late on the electric bill.” However, listing financial security as an overall value will serve to guide you better as it covers a wider range of situations.

Taking this exercise a step further, compare your list of values to your partner’s. Do you have overlapping values? If any of your values align with one another, do you want to move forward together? What about if very few of your values align?

Locate Your Purpose

When you know for certain what your values are, you can then locate your purpose in life.

Plenty of people are on the hunt for their purpose and highest intent in life. Most of the time, however, you don’t run into your purpose like you would a brick wall. Rather, your purpose bubbles up from inside of you. This goes for relationship purposes as well.

Focusing on your list of values together will motivate your purpose to surface. Also, it will reveal your core beliefs so that you can align your purpose with them.

Locating your purpose in the relationship is really writing a compelling future together. Ask yourself how and what you want to contribute to your relationship story.

Take Action to Find Happiness

Some couples work diligently on their relationships only to wind up feeling unsatisfied or unhappy. If this sounds all too familiar, it’s time to take action.

Granted, working on your relationship already requires loads of action. But aim to be more specific with your partner. For example, figure out what has to happen in your relationship for you to know you have a good relationship. Go as far as naming three things that your partner needs to do or say that will make you happy.

It’s amazing how writing these three things down can help you both to identify areas that need work. Give it a go and see where it takes you. Most likely, this exercise will help you steer in the right direction.

For more support creating the relationship you want, please contact me today (07) 32825453 . I would like to help you write the love story you truly desire.