29 Apr Why Self-Awareness and Emotional Maturity Are So Important in Relationships

Trudy Jacobsen | Relationships

Circulating in today’s society is a term known as emotional intelligence.

This concept has not only proven to improve all sorts of relationships—friendships, professional, romantic—but it helps people find true joy as well.

For this reason, many of us strive for it without really pegging a title on our pursuit.

Although the idea of emotional intelligence may sound incredibly sophisticated and complex (and possibly even unachievable), it’s more doable than you might realize. Basically, it really boils down to being more self-aware. And this simple shift in your approach can be invaluable to your relationship.

Here’s why self-awareness and emotional maturity are so important.

Effectively Managing “Triggers”

A sign of emotional maturity is not allowing another person to negatively impact your mood and behaviour. Yet, I don’t need to tell you how difficult this can be.

Regardless of all the “nobody can dictate your feelings” memes, it’s normal to let others impact how we feel. And we do this by being unaware of our own triggers.

Knowing what sets you off can save your relationship from an unnecessary conflict (many, in fact). After all, your emotional triggers may not have anything to do with your partner. And yet, it’s often your partner who may still take the brunt of your negative emotions.

Additionally, once you identify your own triggers, you can explore strategies to help manage your emotions and responses when you’ve been triggered.

Identifying Negative Patterns

In the same way that self-awareness helps you to spot your emotional triggers, it can also work to pinpoint destructive patterns in your life. These patterns may revolve around your communication style, personal boundary setting, self-esteem, etc. It’s not uncommon for negative patterns to drive two people apart.

Becoming more emotionally intelligent means realizing any negative patterns at work in your life and relationship.

As a tip, journaling is an effective way to pinpoint your patterns—just a few sentences a day to help locate your emotional state. Soon, you’ll have enough history to map your patterns and make adjustments.

Fostering a Deeper Connection

According to marriage expert Dr John Gottman, a significant indicator in relationship success is where partners turn—toward or away from each other. For example, when you feel out of sorts or need some type of support, do you communicate that to your partner?

As you may have imagined, the more self-aware you are the closer you and your partner become. Mostly, this connectivity is due to your ability to reach out for your partner rather than turning away.

Developing a heartfelt understanding of each other, the two of you begin to lean on one another more for support. Which also serves to foster a deeper connection.

Encouraging True Healing and Joy

Developing emotional maturity also helps to remind yourself of your highest goals and values. Thus, helping you to align your life pursuits with them.

When you believe that your life has a deep meaning, it conditions you to experience joy, gratitude, and happiness. As a result, these positive emotions overflow onto your relationship. It’s a funny thing but, yes, as you experience true joy, your mind often connects that positive vibe to your relationship too.

Plus, emotional maturity encourages vulnerability, empathy, and a profound openness to healing. Unsurprisingly, being vulnerable is necessary for a successful relationship.


Creating thriving romantic relationships is one of the most difficult endeavours of mankind. After all, most of us have seen our share of failed romances.

But your relationship doesn’t have to end up making the “over” list. Reach out to me today if you’re ready to build up your emotional maturity and improve your relationship. To schedule an appointment with me call (07) 32825453.