15 Oct Creating a Happy and Healthy Relationship: 7 Keys

Trudy Jacobsen

Are you and your partner out-of-sync or going through a rough patch lately?

Every couple struggles with something from time to time, and disagreements are a normal part of relationships. If your “funks” repeatedly last more than a few days or so, however, you may need to take a closer look at your relationship.

Creating a happy and healthy relationship is not always easy, but you can learn how with a little practice.

Consider seven essential keys to help establish a better relationship with your significant other.

Key #1: Have Fun

It seems counterintuitive for many of us to prioritize fun in our lives. After all, adulthood is stressful and full of responsibilities. The truth is, however, that if you and your partner do not make time for fun in your relationship, all other aspects of it will suffer. 

Life is hard and often even unfair, and you and your partner will undoubtedly face many difficult times together. Therefore, it is crucial that you understand how to make each other laugh and practice simply enjoying each other’s company.  Make time for fun and for creating memories that will help get you through the darker days. 

Key #2: Share Financial Responsibilities

Money is notorious for the problems it can create within romantic relationships. For your relationship to be happy and healthy, you and your partner must discuss your finances openly and share the burden of managing them.

In most relationships, one person makes more money or is better at handling financial matters than the other. It is ok for the responsibilities to be uneven if you are in agreement—but you both must participate to some extent. Always make important financial decisions together, live within your budget, and discuss money openly.

Key #3: Get on the Same Page About Sex

If you and your partner have an imbalance in your sex life, now is the time to address it. It is nearly impossible to have a happy and healthy relationship if you are constantly arguing about sex or if one of you is feeling unheard. 

To have a healthy relationship, you and your partner should be discussing—and agreeing on—issues such as how often and where you have sex. Make sex a priority for as long as you need until it naturally becomes a regular part of your week.

Key #4: Assess Your Common Goals and Values

Relationships thrive when both parties are working toward the same desired outcome. You and your partner don’t have to agree on everything, and you don’t even have to come from the same religious or cultural background. What is important is that you share common values and hopes for your future. 

If you feel as though you and your partner have been struggling to communicate or work together lately, set aside time for goal setting and discussion as a couple. You may be surprised at what even fifteen minutes of working together can do for your relationship. 

Key #5: Learn to Argue, Not to Fight

Fighting is toxic to relationships. Couples who fight tend to raise their voices, use inconsiderate names or words, get defensive, and say things they often regret. Fighting is unhealthy and will damage your relationship with your partner.

Arguing, on the other hand, is a healthy and necessary part of life. It is the mature, grown-up relative of fighting. Couples who argue effectively understand that disagreements are part of life and that they are bound to see certain things differently than their partner. Arguing is a safe, non-threatening way to discuss your problems and come to a resolution—even if it means “agreeing to disagree.”

Key #6: Agree on Your Parenting Style

Merging the lifestyles and points of view of two people in a relationship is tricky enough. Add children into the mixture, and you have a new challenge entirely. If you and your partner are going to create a happy and healthy relationship, it is crucial that you are on the same page about how you want to parent your children.

The key to making this work is compromise and open discussion. If you both consider your partner’s perspective more than your own, you will find success much faster.

Key #7: Establish a Mutual Respect for One Another

This final key to having a happy and healthy relationship is arguably the most important. Above nearly all else, you need to have overflowing love and respect for your partner.

Every single successful relationship is built on respect, trust, and adoration. If you do not have these things, or if any of the behaviours in your relationship defy respect, your relationship will have problems. 

If you and your partner are struggling with creating a happy and healthy relationship and you would like to learn more about couples counselling, contact me today on (07) 3282 5453